emotional freedom is the key

seems life doesn't follow the neat set of guidelines that i have concocted. and having faith is a much deeper surrender than i ever imagined. it is surrendering to the mystery of all of it, relinquishing control and realising that it's not about deserving. i thought i could control my world by working hard and being good.

turns out i can't control the world. hah!

i don't wished to be in that emo roller coaster ride earlier, but i'm a coward underneathe the strong fake i put on all the time. and you expect me to skipped along merry when things surrounding us proves ambiguous. fucken shitty if you asked me cause all i could do after that was punching hard on this bloody keyboard instead of lashing it out with you. i hate confrontations. ironic isn't it, looking at where i'm coming from, confrontational issues are put into perspective. at least, making it known to you through the latest technology helps me to breathe. and that's that. do whatever you want with it. heh. sometimes i feel things are better off left unsaid.

sometimes.

just tell me when i can care and i will. for now... gasak lah!

be williig to be undeserving lyz... be willing...

***

tickets booked and lonely planet packed. waiting is dreadful once you have everything planned out. heh. blindfaith not so thrill about bali. a tad too hinduish for him. i reckon the same sentiments, but bali seems so much convenient on something short notice. so i'm glad we're going. and then it's tio-island with the b's. i still don't know why i agreed on tioman instead of rawa. heh. plus two against one is not something to argue about.

problem is shibby's getting married the same day i'm flying off. i hope i can make it to his place before jetting off at 7pm. hmm....

okie doode. not to worry. plenty of time before my flight. i'm not missing it for the world, let alone bali. heheh.

i won't.